Blog, schmog.

I'm disappointed in myself.

I started this blog because I have let my creative writing slip by for the past few months and I really felt inspired to pick it up again. But it seems that feeling inspired to write does not necessarily translate into writing well. I sit down and dig for things to write about; then I struggle to put them on the page, as a way of forcing myself through the writer's block, in the hopes that the words will start to flow again; and then I read what I wrote, and it's awful. It sounds forced and trite and it doesn't reflect me in the way I want it to.

I know I can write better than this. Not too long ago, I was writing blogs and journals pretty regularly, and I even liked some of them. As a matter of fact, I even wrote a novel last year, by following a few friends to this web site and then tackling the insane challenge of penning 50,000 words in 30 days. I did it, too. And they weren't just 50,000 random words that landed haphazardly on my screen; they actually formed a story of sorts, one that evolved as I wrote it and ended up almost with a life of its own, and one that I still hope to publish one day.

So from that perspective, I figured that if I can write that much in one month, it seems like I should be able to keep up with a little blog just to nudge at my writing brain a bit. But, so far, I don't like what I'm seeing. I hope that my creative streak will return to me soon as I keep pushing past this dumb writer's block that prevents me from being even remotely interesting. But in the meantime, to give my reading audience something that I'm actually a bit proud of, I'll link you to an excerpt from my novel on the NaNoWriMo web site.

And then I'll probably take a few minutes to sulk about the fact that I don't feel like I know how to write any more before I realize that it isn't that important. After all, when writing ceases to be fun for me, it loses all therapeutic benefit, so it seems very silly to struggle so much with it. I'll just keep trying a little at a time in the hopes that someday soon, I'll get my groove back.