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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Healing Recipes

I have been very, deeply hurt because of some events that have occurred over the last several days among a close group of friends, in a place that I have always thought of as my own personal shelter from the storms of life.  When your shelter falls apart in the middle of a storm, and you find yourself getting dumped on, it hurts.  Words can be among the most hurtful thing of all, whether they are spoken or written.  

So I made the decision to remove myself from the situation that was causing me such pain, which of course left me hurting even more deeply than I was in the first place.  The irony of it is grand.  And I found myself seeking for a recipe that would help me heal from the pain I had just endured.

The one I called upon required a mixture of butter, sugar, flour, eggs, vanilla, and chocolate chips.  I have this thing about baking as therapy.  Sure, the caloric method of healing only offers a Band-Aid on the wounds of life, but it feels good for the moment, and it fills my soul with a certain kind of warmth to get into the kitchen and make something that tastes good and is filled with love. 

But already, the pile of chocolate chip cookies is dwindling down until it is nearly a pile of crumbs.  I think I have to go back to the kitchen and take one of those cookies…just one.  I’m going to set it aside for myself for later.  And when I feel like crying again, as I know I soon will, I’m going to do it over a cookie and a glass of milk because maybe that really will make it feel all better.

And when that last cookie is gone, I hope I will still have my friends.  At least I know that the friends who truly love me will be there for me, somewhere.

2 comments:

Kim V. said...

I give you hugs and send to you prayers of healing, comfort and peace. Sometimes we have to go through a little pain to find the really good stuff. Did you know that the most pure and valuable gold is found in the darkest recesses of the rocky mountain? I find it interesting that we have to dig deeper and deeper to get to the really valuable stuff. There will be some gold found along the way while we are digging, but it is a poor substitute for that really pure gold in the middle of the darkness. Those who persevere, not stopping along the way to mess around with the sub-par gold, will be the most richly rewarded in the end.

I love you bunches.

used2chaos said...

I'm here. Always. Never, ever doubt it, love.

The group misses you. Your return is eagerly awaited, whenever you feel you can.

I hug you now...