Monday, June 28, 2010

Blog? What blog?

Yes, I know that I have been ignoring this blog for the last week or so.

Yes, I know that I made a promise to myself to blog along with a friend every day for 100 days.

And yes, I actually do like blogging.

But right now, life keeps getting in the way of this blogging thing.  I want to be here writing about random tidbits of my life on a regular basis, but I've realized that I have other things I need to be focusing on in my life right now, like looking for a new job, and making more promises to myself that I won't keep only makes me feel like a failure.

So I'm going to resist the urge to swear to myself that I am going to blog more often, and instead I am going to do it when I can and when I feel like it.  If it's not fun, then what's the point?

And meanwhile, this week, I really do need to make some strides in the direction of my job hunt, even if they are only small ones.  I have been intimidated and overwhelmed by the idea of it for a while, and as my nature is, I have been procrastinating it because it's too difficult for me to face.  These are the times when I really wish I had the support and encouragement of a spouse.  To me, that's what marriage is supposed to be about--having someone with whom to pursue life goals and dreams, someone who will hold you up when you really don't feel like you can do it alone.  At least I have friends and family who will support and encourage me, but it isn't the same when your life is not directly joined to those people who are offering you love and support.

I think that part of the reason this job search has been so hard for me is because of those reasons I just identified above, and now that I have recognized that I need to be the one to light the fire under my own arse at this juncture in my life, it will be a little easier for me to strike the match.

At least I hope so.  I really need to make some progress this week instead of letting the intimidation of it loom over my head, like an anvil teetering on the edge of a shelf.